Very First Thing
by kirahelena
Summary: Searching an unsub's house has terrible consequences for Prentiss. Really bad summary but (hopefully) good story...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This is my very first fanfiction. Ever. Don't judge me if it's awful but i would love some feedback!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. They didn't accept my offer of 50p...**

My heart stopped.

There are countless times where we end up in this situation. An unsub who is not willing to give up. Guns pointed all over the place. 65% of the time we talk them down. The rest of the time it's a tackle or a gunshot.

This time was different.

The gun was pointed at Prentiss.

And it wasn't us who fired...

I put down the phone the phone and Emily looked at me, eyebrow raised expectantly.

"Hotch said to wait for back up"

She nodded slowly, it was undoubtedly the answer she expected "And?"

"There's a child in there, Em. I can't just stand here and do nothing."

"Thought so," Damn, that girl knew me too well, better than anyone else on the team. A team of profilers. "I'll go in the front, you take the back?"

"It was a trap." The first words Hotch says when he arrives and sees the scene before him. The words that have been rolling round my head since it happened. The words that are accompanied by guilt, blame and sadness. The words that have been the only words I'd been able to utter as I had hastily phoned Hotch after it had happened. There was no child. It was a trap. It was a trap. It was a trap...

I looked through the glass on the back door, testing the handel and confirming my suspicions. It was open. I drew my gun and flashlight and stepped inside. I cleared the two rooms at the back but was overcome with a feeling I could not shake. It was as I entered the hallway that I realised: there was no noise from anywhere in the house. No child crying or screaming, no unsub making threats, nothing. But then I heard him say one word.

"Hello"

Prentiss: "You know you don't want to... I'm not your type"

And I ran.

I was on my fifth cup of horrible black hospital coffee when Garcia came over. I'd been trying to avoid the team since we arrived, sure that if I looked into any of their eyes, all I would see is blame.

"How you holding up my chocolate god?" She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes, which were red rimmed and puffy.

That's when it hit me. The blame wouldn't be in their eyes, but if I looked in a mirror, blame would be staring back at me.

The gun shot echoed around the room.

I didn't hesitate, three shots in his chest. Make sure he was dead. He didn't deserve the chance to live. I ran to Emily and pressed my hand hard to her shoulder trying to stop the blood flow as I fumbled for my cell. The only thing that was on my mind was how did he miss when he was only four feet away from her? I didn't have an answer but I was glad he did.

"How long have you been in love with her?"

I didn't ask JJ how she knew and I didn't try to deny it. It was written all over my face when the nurse walked in and told us she was out of surgery and being moved to the ICU. Instead I said:

"I honestly don't know"

"Does Emily know?"

I shook my head and JJ walked back to the rest of the team. I smiled.

It would be the first thing I told her when she woke up.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I didn't actually plan to write another part but a couple of people asked! Please review.**

**Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is still not mine. I asked Santa for it and everything...**

"He had nothing left to live for."

The wise words of Dr Spencer Reid after hours of searching through the property of James Mullingham. Unsub. Murderer. Terminal cancer sufferer.

"But why shoot Emily, why?" the anguish in my voice was clear.

It was Hotch who supplied the answer this time: "Suicide-by-cop. He had to make sure we killed him. He spent his whole life torturing and murdering young girls to feel in control. The cancer took that control away. Prentiss was a way to regain it; shoot her, control his death"

The answer didn't make me feel any better.

It had been 5 hours and Emily was yet to gain consciousness. I paced back and forth, back and forth before finally pausing at the window. Staring out of the small square at the view of DC. I began to speak softly, just to feel less alone. It wasn't that I didn't know at one phonecall Garcia, Reid, or even Rossi, would join me here. It was that as soon as I was around them , the guilt rushed back to the surface.

"You know what Em? Before I met you I hated you. It wasn't anything you had done, it was what you represented... Elle was a good friend of mine, and you joining just meant she definitely wasn't coming back..."

"Morgan? Were you talking to yourself?" It was quiet and sleepy, but it was her...

"Em! You're awake! I've been so worried! I'm sorry!" I couldn't get it all out fast enough, everything I needed to tell her.

She started a low chuckle, which soon turned into a sharp intake of breath. The painkillers had obviously worn off as she slept. "Shh... calm down Morgan..."

"I love you Emily Prentiss."

She smiled and tried to raise her arm before remembering the shoulder wound.

Emily came back to work today. She would have to deal with weeks of pure victimology , no field work, but everyone could tell she was glad to be back. Everyone was glad to have her back: the BAU just wasn't the same without her.

"Morgan, we're heading off to the bar for a few drinks, you coming?"

"Yeah, JJ, meet you there. Just got to grab my jacket."

I turned to find myself face to face with Hotch. "Hey,you coming out?"

"No, I was just going to spend some time with Jack," I understood. Whenever someone on the team got hurt, it made him realise that he may not always be there for Jack. "I just want to wish you good luck. Not that you're going to need it."

"Luck?"

"With Prentiss." As he turned and walked off, I could have sworn I saw him wink...

I felt like an idiot as I walked out the hospital. Emily had sent me home despite my protests, telling me she needed some rest anyway. I don't know what I thought she'd do when I told her I loved her. Say it back? Now, I think about it, it was a stupid idea. I'm just lucky she didn't reject me completely, she didn't deny it and that is what I was just going to have to hold on to.

I walked out the bar with the rest of the team. We were all laughing and joking, just like before. The few of us who were sober offered to drive the others home and I turned to see Emily half stumbling over to her car.

"Oh no you don't Em. You are not driving like that."

After a couple of mumbled protests, she caved. I stopped outside her apartment, cutting the engine. She didn't get out though, just turned in her seat to look at me.

"There's something I have to tell you. Something I've wanted to say for a few months now. I love you, Derek Morgan"

Now it was my turn to smile.

The next morning, I woke up, smiling at the gorgeous woman laying next to me.

I knew the very first thing I would say to her when she woke up.


End file.
